16th Sunday in Ordinary Time (A) – July 23, 2023

St. Paul – Lyons, KS

Wisdom 12:13, 16-19; Psalm 85:5-6, 9-10, 15-16; Romans 8:26-27; Matthew 13:24-43

A Look Back

The past several weeks we have been taking an in depth look at the Kingdom of God—this third major discourse of Jesus is Matthew’s Gospel. Jesus preaches at length in parables about the Kingdom of God. And as you know, when we hear, “Kingdom of God” in Matthew, is Jesus talking about “heaven,” the place we go when we die? No. Absolutely not. What is the Kingdom? Jesus. Jesus is autobasileia, the Church Fathers write; he is the “kingdom itself,” the “kingdom in person.” And so if you want to be part of this kingdom, if you want to “enter” the kingdom—what have we said you need to do? Exactly: enter into relationship with Jesus? And why would someone want to be in relationship with Jesus? Because person after person, witness after witness points out to us: that is where we will find the peace, the joy, the happiness, the everything that we are truly looking for…and can’t find anywhere else. That’s what even Harvard says: relationships are what bring us what we’re looking for. So relationship with the God-Man…well, that seems to be the definition of what we’re looking for.

But that’s why Jesus is telling these parables. Because it’s one thing to say, “Oh, be in a relationship with Jesus.” It’s a whole other thing to live it! That’s why Jesus begins with that parable of the sower: lots of seed (this relationship is offered to all!) but…but there are some things that are going to destroy the plant, destroy the relationship with him. Remember what those were? Lack of understanding (so we think Jesus just wants us to be nice or something, so we miss what all this relationship truly is, or even that it is truly a relationship not just behavior modification). Lack of discipline (we don’t put concrete practices into our life, our “roots” aren’t deep enough to keep going when things get tough). And a lack of prioritizing (we don’t prioritize our relationship with Christ, we just try to fit it in after everything else). Just like those three things are going to kill any relationship in your life, kill a marriage—same thing with Christ.

Ok, just that brings us to these parables today. And I want to begin with a simple question. Simple. Remember, we’re keeping things simple with these parables. Question: How does a relationship grow? Maybe think of your spouse and that relationship. Maybe your best friend. But then think: How did that friendship grow? How does a friendship grow?

A Friendship

I think of the friendship I have with one of my best friends, Fr. Isaac Coulter. I have known about Isaac since I was 14. We grew up in different parishes, different schools, but I knew about him through mutual friends. I didn’t officially meet him until I entered seminary when I was 19—so five years of him just being a person “out there.” And when I finally met him, we were not friends. I came to find out that he thought I was pretentious (which isn’t entirely untrue), and I thought he was a total tool (which is definitely true). We even played on the same soccer team in seminary—still weren’t really friends. We got sent to the same school in Maryland, played on the soccer team there—still not really friends. Not until we drove back to Wichita from Maryland at the end of the school year. And on that drive, a friendship was formed. And that summer, it was solidified. We spent the whole summer studying Spanish, going to the gym, we formed a bike gang—slashed little kids’ tires and stole their bubble gum. We drove to and from Wichita every weekend because of seminary events we had to be at. And on and on and on. To the point that it’s literally already in my will (in his too) that this is the guy that’s preaching at my funeral (so we’ll see who dies first; only one of us can have it!)

But I look back at that particular relationship, and I think: How did that friendship, how did that relationship grow? Because it started out with this very peripheral knowledge of each other: like, we knew who the other person was, but we didn’t really know. And even when we officially met, shook hands—we knew each other, but we didn’t really know each other. Not until that summer. Not until this event, this time, this intense and extended period of time did that friendship really grow. And year by year, the friendship grew deeper and deeper. It didn’t happen overnight.

Characteristics of the Growth

How does a relationship grow? How does a friendship grow? My friendship with Fr. Isaac started off with this very peripheral knowledge. And we see that a lot, right? You knew about your spouse or your best friend before you really knew them. And even when you meet, it might have been some time before you really hung out, spent time, went on a date. But there was a moment, a definite moment where that relationship, that friendship changed from something peripheral to something very, very real. And over time it grew, and grew, and grew—it intensified, and deepened, and became something that (maybe) you couldn’t imagine your life without. You formed and shaped one another. What you read, what you watch, what you listen to; the places you go, the people you hang out with. On and on!And sure, some people describe themselves as best friends from day one, “love at first sight”—but even in that case, the depth, and strength, and importance of the relationship, of the friendship—it took time.

Mustard Seed and Yeast

Ok. So with all of that in mind, I want you to ponder these parables, especially the very short, but very, very potent parables of the mustard seed and the yeast. Just listen to the parable again, “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that a person took and sowed in a field. It is the smallest of all the seeds, yet when full-grown it is the largest of plants. It becomes a large bush, and the birds of the sky come and dwell in its branches” (Mt. 13:31-32).

I’m sure many of us in the church today grew up hearing about Jesus a lot—cradle Catholics, other Christian denominations, even non-Christians. Everyone seems to have heard something about Jesus. And perhaps you even “met him” in a certain sense: you were baptized, or your parents or grandparents talked about him, you went to PSR, or heard Bible stories. But I think many of us can admit that we didn’t really have a relationship with him. We met him, but we thought he was a “tool”—we formed a lot of opinions about him, decided we knew him without really getting to know him. And maybe that’s where some of us still are: we still feel a little on the outside of all of this. We’re here, but we’re not really here, if you know what I mean.

But for some of us (and I know this is the case)—for some of us, something has happened. We’ve truly met him, we’ve “encountered him”—and this encounter has changed everything, changed out life. And as time goes on, as the days and years go by, the relationship goes through different stages and “ages” and “good and bad times,” but it gets deeper and deeper. The intimacy grows—to the point that you couldn’t imagine life without it. And the joy and life and goodness and beauty and everything that comes from that relationship—you would’t trade it! But think: how did it begin? and did it get to where it is overnight?

Listen to the other parable (goes hand in hand): “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed with three measures of wheat flour until the whole batch was leavened” (Mt. 13:33). Again, yeast…if you’ve ever baked bread you know what it looks like if you forget the yeast. And yet, just a little yeast, and it expands like crazy! It is transformed! Same with Christ: even though it begins so, so little, it is capable of transforming everything.

This is what life in the kingdom is like. This is what a relationship with Christ is like.

The Life-Changing Encounter and the Life-Changing Relationship

This can look different for different people. This encounter with Christ can happen (and does happen) more than once! I was baptized on February 14, 1993, 26 days after I was born. That is the time I met Christ, that I encountered him. And over the years, day after day, year after year, through my family, through our daily prayer and every Sunday at Mass—that relationship continued to grow. And yet, existentially, Jesus still seemed very peripheral—I didn’t really know him. When I was a freshman, I attended Totus Tuus camp there at WaJaTo—and that was a powerful encounter, and day after day, year after year my relationship with him grow. But, I still didn’t feel like I knew him. Through my friendship with Fr. Isaac and several experiences in seminary, I encountered him again—and day after day, year after year that relationship with Christ grew and deepened. 

And I realized: it’s not just a one-time thing! Jesus continues to encounter me, he continues to deepen this relationship. But the one constant? Time. It begins so, so small! But over time, it grows and grows and grows. And I look back and realize: what began so small now gives life and protection and meaning and joy and happiness and peace to everything in my life. It defines my life! It wasn’t just one thing. Jesus was constantly at work. Like a mustard seed, my relationship with Christ began in such small ways, but has been deepening and deepening, growing and growing… Like yeast it’s transformed everything! Yes: the pitfalls, the three pitfalls are always going to be pitfalls. Yes: I can’t have a perfect relationship with him overnight. And yet I know he is faithful. I know he is there. And so I know my part…it’s to be faithful, to continue giving him time, to persevere.

Friends: I’m not going to stand up here and say it’s easy, that you say a prayer and then “bam!” everything is amazing! No. That’s not how it works! And we shouldn’t expect that. Because that’s not how we work. The reason Jesus operates this way is because we operate this way, human beings operate this way. And in his infinite wisdom, in his infinite goodness, in his infinite love…he slowly but surely seeks to develop a relationship with you.

The question is: Am I going to give this relationship the time that it needs? Mustard seeds don’t grow overnight. Yeast isn’t instantaneous. Same with Christ. Am I going to give this relationship the time that it needs?