Feast of the Holy Family (C) – December 29, 2024

St. Paul – Lyons, KS

1 Samuel 1:20-22, 24-28; Psalm 84; 1 John 3:1-2, 21-24; Luke 3:41-52

The AFC Goes Through Arrowhead, the World Goes Through the Family

If you tuned into some Christmas Day football, you saw the Chiefs lock up their number one seed and first round bye. Can’t say that we’re surprised! You can’t bet against Mahomes! Can’t do it! And, predictably, once they locked it up, all the players in their interviews, all the commentators, all the headlines were the same: “The AFC goes through Arrowhead.” Right? In other words, since the Chiefs get home field advantage, you have to beat the Chiefs in Arrowhead at some point if you want to win the AFC championship, get to the Super Bowl. And we get that: “You want a Super Bowl? Well, you have to go to Arrowhead and get a win.” The AFC goes through Arrowhead.

And while we all love football, and we can all appreciate that—at the end of the day, football doesn’t really matter. (I said it! Run me out of town now!) I said it: “At the end of the day football doesn’t really matter.” It actually is just a game. It actually does not matter. Right?

What does matter—what does matter, though, is humanity and salvation, the eternal salvation of every man, woman and child. That matters. In other words, you matter. And as John Paul II pointed out, just like the AFC passes through Arrowhead (he didn’t mention the Chiefs)—just like the AFC passes through Arrowhead, “the history of mankind, the history of salvation, [that] passes through the family.” The history of mankind and salvation go through the family. And John Paul II continued by saying that “the family is placed at the center of the great struggle between good and evil, between life and death, between love and all that is opposed to love” (John Paul II, Gratissimam Sane 23). John Paul II also said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” 

So, what’s he getting at? What he’s getting at is that we look around and we see all of these issues in the world—Ukraine, China, Israel, Immigration, Abortion, Civil Rights, Poverty—we see all of these global and national issues. We see issues at the state and community level. And no one disagrees on that: there are a lot of issues, lot of problems! News networks literally make a living off of reporting on how messed up everything is. No one disagrees.

But do we agree with John Paul II? Because what he’s getting at is that if you want to address these global, or national, or state, or community issues, the place you need to begin is the family. Why? Because the history of mankind, salvation itself passes through the family. As the family goes, so goes the nation and the world. Mother Teresa—she was famous for saying, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”

Today, as we celebrate the feast day of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, this is the simple challenge we are presented with: do we—do you, do I—do we actually believe that the most important, world-changing force in the world is strong and healthy marriages and families?

Vita Familia

My parents raised us, me and my siblings, in the thick of the John Paul II era. And they were pretty on board with this idea of his. And so they made a very conscious, very explicit decision, that family, our family, was going to be the number one thing in their life. Growing-up, my family had a motto; a very simple, but very powerful motto (and since we’re nerds, it was in Latin): Vita Familia, Family Life. When decisions had to be made, when priorities were set, what always came first was the family: what was best for the family.

But it was more than just a selfish sort of “our family first” mentality. What it really was was “how does this place God and our faith at the center of our family life?” Everything they did flowed from their faith, from their relationship with the Lord. Our faith was at the center of the family, everything we did as a family. Everything.

And that tone—that was set by my parents. Over and over, study after study shows that parents are the number one (the number one) factor when it comes to handing on the faith. Number one! And since my parents’ goal for us was to get us to heaven, they did everything with that goal in mind. Our salvation, us getting to heaven, our relationship with Jesus Christ—that was number one. 

One simple example I’ve shared before (especially in my long rants about Sunday and reclaiming Sunday)—for our family, Sunday Mass was a non-negotiable. And Sunday was a day of rest: no watching football, no going out, no nothing! The NFL existed back then too, but Sundays weren’t 12 hours of football days. Sundays were family days, centered on Mass and family and rest and being together. I can only remember missing Sunday Mass one time in my entire life. Or, like when we went on vacation or had to be out of town on a weekend—the first thing he would do is find the church where we would go to Mass on Sunday. Even on vacation!

But because of this—because of this and so many other things my parents did to place the faith at the center of our family life—we learned the importance of the faith, and the faith was passed on to us! But it began with my parents living the faith, their own personal faith. They weren’t just faking it because God’s important and kids should have God. No, it was real. Jesus Christ was a real person, a real person they had a real relationship with. And we picked up on that. Everything in our life—our daily schedule, our weekly schedule, our yearly schedule—all of it was determined by the faith. Why? Because my parents took John Paul II seriously: everything passes through the family; as the family goes, so goes the world.

Putting the Pieces Back In Order

The question then—again: do we actually believe that the most important, world-changing force in the world is strong and healthy marriages and families? And do we do what it takes to have a strong and healthy marriage and family? “Survey says?” No. 

And one simple reason is that in most people’s lives, the order, the hierarchy of “goods” is: work, kids, marriage, God. Our work is the number one thing. Why? “Because I have to take care of my kids.” Sure. Work, then kids. Kids’ schedules, their events, what they want to do, their stuff—that is the next most important thing, whatever they want. They’re playing softball in Kalamazoo—well by golly we are mortgaging the farm to make it happen. Work, then kids, and after that, then I’ll focus on my marriage—when I have time. When was the last time you went on a date night with your spouse? And why has it been so long? Gonna blame your kids? Ok. Work, kids, marriage and then—then if there is any time left, then I’ll focus on God. 

Ok. How do I know this? Because of these things called calendars. Work is always the first thing on your calendar. And second? Anything for your kids: driving them around, going to their events. And because of that, your marriage takes a back seat to work and kids. And then God—well, God gets what is left over.

But here’s the thing: if you want to change your life, change your family, and change the world (as John Paul II pointed out, as Mother Teresa pointed out)—if you want to change the world, flip the order. Flip it. Instead of work, kids, marriage, God, go God, marriage, kids, work. Why? Because that’s how God designed it. God, then your marriage, then your kids, then work.

What would it look like if God was the first thing in your life? What would your calendar look like? Well, you would have time for Him scheduled in first: daily prayer time; Sunday Mass would be the first thing you scheduled, the whole week would revolve around it (instead of around your kids’ activity schedule). God would be at the center of your life, your marriage, your family, your work. And with God in first place, the second most important thing would be your marriage. You wouldn’t sacrifice the health of your marriage for your kids. Why? Because your kids depend on your marriage. Marriage, a good and solid and healthy marriage—one with God at the center, one where you falls in love with your spouse more and more each year—that is more important than signing your kids up for another five activities. (Now, I know many of you come from divorced homes, or you have been divorced yourself—and I’m not trying to be callous or harsh. I know there are as many different stories as there are people. And I know that each one of you is doing the absolute best you can—and you are doing incredible things. But because of that, I also know that we all know the challenges and struggles that come from divorce. And if that’s you, then all the more reason that God has to come first with you.) God, then marriage, and then the kids—that is the recipe for a holy family.

Not a Perfect Family, But A Holy Family

The question, though—again, the fundamental question, the question that will determine whether you care or not—it’s John Paul II’s question: do we actually believe that the most important, world-changing force in the world is strong and healthy marriages and families? Do we believe that strong families come from parents being their kids’ taxi service, OR from parents building a culture centered on faith in their marriage, their homes and in their families? The reason the AFC passes through Arrowhead is because the Chief’s culture is a winning one. The reason the history of humankind and the world pass through the family? It’s because the culture of the family is the most important part of this world.

And so today, we pray with the Church that families, all families, will imitate the Holy Family: placing God first, Jesus Christ at the center, fostering a culture of holiness. Why? Because that will transform not only your family, but this parish, this community, this state, this nation, and (yeah) even the whole world.