24th Sunday in Ordinary Time (A) – September 17, 2023

St. Paul – Lyons, KS

Sirach 27:30-28:7; Psalm 103:1-4, 9-12; Romans 14:7-9; Matthew 18:21-35

Reconciliation and Forgiveness Continued

As I mentioned last week, we are spending a few weeks in a section of Matthew known as Jesus’ discourse on the Church. It’s like Jesus is answering the question, “Here’s this group of people that has placed their faith you, entrusted their lives to you—how does this group operate?” And it’s very telling that the first things Jesus talks about are what? Reconciliation and forgiveness.

Last week we focused on reconciliation. And I’d encourage you to go listen to that homily from last week or re-listen to it. Today we need to talk about the other side of the coin: forgiveness. If reconciliation is answering the question, “What do we do with followers of Christ who are living contrary to the faith they profess, saying one thing on Sunday and doing a different thing Monday through Saturday, people who have personally sinned again me—what do we do with people like that?”—if Jesus’ teaching on reconciliation answers that question, then his teaching on forgiveness answers the questions, “Ok—but how many times do I have to do that? And what do you mean by forgiveness? And why should I forgive?” Simple as that. Jesus’ teachings here on forgiveness answers three simple questions: How many times do I have to forgive? What does it mean to forgive? And why forgive? And that’s exactly what today’s gospel answers.

How Many Times?

Last week’s gospel started by Jesus saying, “If your brother sins against you” do this. Today’s gospel starts in a similar way. Peter walks up to Jesus and he’s like, “Ok, Jesus. So let’s say this happens. If my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? How many times do I have to do this? As many as seven times?” And so it’s clear that Peter is being very generous. Like we should hear that and be like, “Whoa! Seven times. That’s pretty impressive! I would only do two—because three strikes and you’re out.” Peter thinks he’s going to impress Jesus with this big number, “Seven times!” But then Jesus says, “No, not seven times.” And so we think, “Yeah, Jesus will say three or four.” “No, not seven”—and then typical Jesus, flips everything—“not seven, seventy-seven times.” And so this isn’t a debate about math, like you’re counting, “76, here we go…”, no! Always. Jesus is saying, “Forgive always.”

And what Jesus is doing here is actually very brilliant. Because there is only one other place in all of the Scriptures where the numbers seven and seventy-seven appear close together: this is one, and the other? Anyone? The only other place is in a story in Genesis chapter 4, a story about a guy named Lamech. Genesis 4 starts off with a story about two brothers, and one brother is jealous of the other. Who are they? Cain and Abel, right. And God addresses Cain, and tells him, “Be careful! This jealousy and anger and violence inside of you—it’s like an animal crouching at your door. It will devour you.” And Cain doesn’t deal with it, instead he gives into it. He murders his brother. And so Genesis 4 goes on to show how Cain goes off and builds a city, and generation after generation, things just get worse and worse. So what Genesis 4 is showing is what life is like in Cain’s city. And in the seventh generation—so seven is the biblical number for “completion” or “perfection”; so we’re talking about the fullness of what Cain’s city looks like—in the seventh generation we hear about a descendant of Cain’s named Lamech. And Lamech is a vignette of what people who live in this city look like. And Lamech has a poem, a song he sings—it’s about a young man who tried to pick a fight with him, and how he murdered that guy on the spot. And so he sings a song about how proud he is about it! He says, “I didn’t just give seven times the vengeance on this little punk”—I’m paraphrasing—“I didn’t just give seven times the vengeance on this little punk. I’m Lamech—seventy-seven times the vengeance!” That’s the poem: not just seven times the revenge, seventy-seven. 

So just stop and think: what is Jesus doing? Whatever forgiveness is (and we’ll talk about what it is)—whatever forgiveness is, it is incredibly counter to our nature; it is very unnatural. All of us are used to living in “Cain’s city”—we call that this world, we call it 

“being human.” We opoerate, the world naturally operates according to the logic of Cain’s city: you do something to me, I get you back! I’ve told you the story about snowball fights as a kid, and how my brother drilled a slush ball with a rock int the middle right into my face. And what was my natural reaction? To go after him, to go for blood! And none of you were shocked to hear that. Why? Because it’s a natural reaction to that sort of thing. And as adults, we have our own “slush balls” we hurl at one another; it’s just that instead of literally going for blood, we attack people’s character, we gossip or slander them, we punish them through resentment and shunning. In our families, friendships, workplaces, our parish—you know you’ve hurled some hard-packed slush-balls, and you’ve had some hurled at you. And because we’re from “Cain’s city,” what our natural response? Because we are part of a messed up world, our natural reaction is not to forgive, it’s the opposite. Jesus’s reference to Cain’s city is very intentional: he’s reminding us how this whole dynamic is as old as time. And that if we’re going to be part of God’s kingdom—leave Cain’s city, Cain’s kingdom, leave that way being human—things are going to have to change.

What Jesus Means (and doesn’t mean) by Forgiveness

And so this is where Jesus answers the second question: “What does it mean to forgive?” And cuh-lassic Jesus, he teaches us with a parable. Jesus says, “Seventy-seven times. That is why the kingdom of heaven”—so the opposite of Cain’s city, Cain’s Kingdom—“That is why [living in] God’s Kingdom may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount”—literally, in the Greek, it says, “Ten thousand Talents.” And this is where we’re supposed to laugh! Because what’s a Talent? A Talent is just an amount of money. It’s the equivalent of 6,000 days wages. So 10,000 Talents is the equivalent of something like 250,000 years of work, 5,500 life-times of work. We’re talking tens of billions of dollars; we’re talking an amount of money that one nation would owe another nation! So it’s like Jesus just said, “One debtor was brought before him who owed him a gazillion dollars.” We’re supposed to laugh!

So, “A debtor was brought before him who owed him a gazillion dollars. Since he had no way of paying it back”—duh!—“his master ordered that he and his wife and children and property be sold in payment of the debt.” But what happens? “The servant fell down, did him homage, and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full’”—and this is where we’re supposed to laugh again, like, there’s no way he’s ever paying that back! But what happens?—“And moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.” Amazing.

But then what happens? This guy immediately goes and finds a fellow servant “who owed him a much smaller amount,” literally a hundred Denari, or a hundred days wages—so a couple thousand dollars. And what does he do? “He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ And falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back’”—same thing this guy just said!—“But he refused,” and threw him in prison. And then the master gets called, and he’s ticked, “You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt. Shouldn’t you have done the same?” And so what does the master do? He re-institutes the debt this guy owes—a gazillion dollars—and throws him in prison until he pays it back. And as we already established, is that guy ever paying that back? No. He can’t! And then Jesus says, “So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.” Woof.

So what does it mean to forgive? The language, the metaphor Jesus uses is one of money—a debt—that’s what this parable is all about, debts. The word for “forgive” in Greek is aphiemi. And in its most basic meaning it just means “to release, to let go, to drop.” And that’s exactly what this parable is describing: “forgiveness” means to release someone from debt, to let the debt go, to drop it. To forgive means to release someone’s debt to you, to “let go” of what they owe you. When someone wrongs you, when they “throw a slush-ball” at you—all of a sudden, they are “in your debt.” And in a situation of hurt, betrayal, violence, of sin, there are two ways out: one, the person who wronged you can “pay” (and that’s what we call justice); or you can “pay” (in other words, you absorb the debt, you pay—this is forgiveness). And this sounds like a really dumb idea! In these stark of terms, it’s clear how dumb it sounds. “Why would you do that?” And the answer is because in God’s Kingdom, in being in relationship with Christ, placing our faith in him, following him—in this new way of being human, mercy is our new natural reaction. In the city of Cain, unbridled revenge is the name of the game. In God’s city? Unbridled mercy. And it’s non-negotiable. ““So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives.”

Now, real quick, please notice what Jesus did not say, and what forgiveness is not. Some people hear this and think, “If I do this, people are just going to walk all over me!” Or in the worst instances, some Christians have said that this means we have to remain in abusive relationships. And that is just not at all what Jesus is talking about. Reconciliation is a two way street. If someone sins against you, for reconciliation to happen, they have to own up to what they’ve done, repent, change. And if they don’t, you should never be alone in the same room with them again—bring two people, bring the church, and as a last resort, leave, cut yourself off from that situation. Are you with me? So Jesus is not subjecting yourself to further sin or abuse, he’s not giving that terrible advice to “forgive and forget”; he’s not saying that you pretend things are back to normal. None of that! Go read last Sunday’s gospel again. Forgiveness is one thing, reconciliation is another—it’s a two-way street. And restoration or “back to normal” is a completely separate thing—just because you forgive, or your reconcile doesn’t mean that things are “normal” again. Are you with me? This is very important. Jesus’ command is to forgive, to forgive from your heart”—it means to choose to forgive. The command is to forgive, not to reconcile—he can’t command that, because that’s not in our control. You with me?

Why Should I Forgive?

But this does lead to our last question: “Why should I forgive?” And we could talk about this for a very long time, and I wish we had that time. Because yes, there are a lot of psychological reasons, reasons that it helps us to move forward—resentment and un-forgiveness are poisonous to us, you’re only punishing yourself, on and on. And those are true, and good, and important.

But let me ask it this way, “Can you think of a moment in Jesus’ life when he was being hurt, and he chose to forgive?” On the cross, yeah: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”  Here is Jesus in a situation where people are sinning against him (sham of a trial, false charges, unjust execution)—and he prays that God would forgive, not hold it against them.

The reason why Jesus calls us to forgive is because of the meaning of that moment on the cross. On the Cross, Jesus enters into solidarity with the condition of human sin, and violence, and malevolence—he’s living in the fullness of “Cain’s city.” If he were living and operating according to the logic of Cain’s city, he would have fought back. But instead Jesus does nothing, doesn’t hardly speak. And then he forgives. Why? Because he knows how God’s Kingdom works. “The Father will make it right.” And the resurrection is the promise, the proof of that!

Ok, so as disciples, followers of Jesus, we see these moments where we are called to forgive as our own participation in the life of Christ, our own participation in the Cross. Like I said last week, everyone wants to wear t-shirts that say being a Catholic, being a Christian is all about loving God and loving your neighbor—and that’s great! But this is where the “love your neighbor” rubber hits the road: Do you love them enough to forgive them? It’s easy, it’s natural to live in Cain’s city! But to live in God’s? To live in God’s Kingdom? To live as new humans? Not so much. God forgives us as we forgive others—so don’t be stingy on forgiveness.

So I want to make this very practical. Every time we come to Mass, Jesus’ death and resurrection are brought forward into our time—the constraints of space and time don’t work here, calvary becomes present! And by our participation in the Mass, by our reception of the Eucharist, we participate in and share in his death and resurrection. Which means? Which means we can forgive in a very powerful and potent way right here.

So take a moment. Call to mind those people you still need to forgive. Call to mind those people you still hold “in your debt.” Those people who have wronged you, hurt you. All of that resentment and anger you still hold on to. Who are those people? What are their names? The people you always talk bad about, think bad about, the people that you blame problems on. Parents, siblings; bad teachers; priests from the parish; friends that betrayed you. Call them to mind. And today, as you participate in this Eucharist, forgive them. Yes, being a good Christian means to love God and love neighbor. But that means leaving Cain’s city, it means living in God’s. And in that city, unbridled mercy is the name of the game. Ask: do I love my neighbor enough to forgive them?