3rd Sunday of Lent (B) – March 2, 2024

St. Paul – Lyons, KS

Exodus 20:1-7; Psalm 19:8-11; 1 Corinthians 1:22-25; John 2:13-25

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A Good Father

I’m going to ask a few questions, and you tell me if you believe them, ok? Ok. If I were to ask you, “Do you believe in one God, the Father almighty?”—would you agree? If I were to say that,  “By our baptism we are made children of God”—would you agree? If I were to ask, “Do you believe that God loves you?”—would you agree? And finally, “Do you believe that God is omniscient (He knows everything), that he’s omnipotent (He is all-powerful), and that he’s omni-benevolent (all-good)?” Great. Pretty uncontroversial. But keep ‘em in mind.

Today, I want to talk about the prayer of petition and intercession; petition (as in asking God for something for ourselves) and intercession (asking God for something on behalf of someone else). The easiest, most natural form of “prayer” is to ask for things. Every kid is taught to ask God for things. But typically, we ask God like we ask Santa: “Here’s my list of things I want God. So now I’m going to try to be really good so that you give them to me.” Right? “If you’re really, really good, God will give you what you ask for.” It’s like Santa. Or, God is like a Genie in the bottle: magically dispensing our wishes. Or, he is the Divine ATM: we put in our card, type in our pin (the correct prayer) and he should dispense whatever we ask. But I think we know that that’s a little bit of a distortion of God. So as we talk about the prayer of petition, we need to ask three questions. First, what is our destiny? What is our purpose? Kind of like last week, what is the context of all of this? Second, we need to ask why, when we don’t immediately get exactly what we asked for, why do we think God didn’t hear us? And third, if God hears everything, what does this mean, how is our prayer always “efficacious,” how do they do any good?

Perspective & Disappointment

One of my favorite illustrations of how we lose sight of our purpose and our destiny is from the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. In the movie there’s the scene in the Art Institute of Chicago where Ferris and his friends are looking at the painting Sunday on La Grande Jatte, painted by Georges Seurat. This painting is painted in a style called pointillism: millions of little dots, together forming a larger picture. So, in the movie, the camera has these alternating shots between the character Cameron and this painting. The camera goes back and forth between Cameron and this painting. And as it gets closer and closer to the painting, closer and closer to Cameron’s face—it reveals that, up close, this painting makes absolutely no sense! It’s just a bunch of dots, a bunch of paint splotches!

I think this is what we often get trapped in. We get sucked into the tiny little dots, and miss the bigger picture. We get hyper-fixated on one thing in life, one moment, one thing—and we miss the bigger masterpiece. Right? We talked about the Ego Drama last week; here it is again. We focus on the one dot that is us, or we focus on one dot in our life—and we are confused why life doesn’t seem fair. But we have to ask: what is our destiny? what is our purpose? what is the context of our life? The answer is that we are part of a much bigger masterpiece. God is the artist, He is the Creator, He is in charge of the Theo Drama at work in the world. 

When it comes to our petitions, we usually get caught up on the question, “Well, why didn’t God answer my prayer?” But before we ask that, we need to answer a different question: Why am I here? Where am I going? And how do I get there? (Go back and watch “Rerouting…” again. I’m serious. If we do not know the context, the story—any answer I give is going to feel dismissive. We need to know the story and firmly believe that we’re part of it.) Because when we know the answers to those questions, when we know that we are part of a much larger masterpiece, that God is the artist—everything changes! We are part of a much larger story, and God is leading and guiding us all toward a very specific Destiny. His love for us is a love that loves us to our Destiny—nothing else. It’s like my dad: his love is for my Destiny, not for me to have a good time. God’s goal for your life isn’t health, wealth, prosperity. It’s your salvation and the salvation of the whole world! I hope this makes sense.

Because what I’m not trying to do is be dismissive. I’m not trying to downplay or dismiss the feeling of disappointment or betrayal when we feel like God hasn’t responded, that He didn’t come through for us, or like He just said “no.” Unanswered petitions can be heartbreaking. I know many of you could stand up right now and share very good, very holy petitions you make and have made every day for years that don’t seem to have been answered: illnesses, children, grandchildren, suffering, injustice, you name it. This is devastating and can leave us feeling betrayed. These are the number one reasons that people stop praying, stop coming to church. But I think it’s dangerous to jump immediately to, “God doesn’t care,” or “God isn’t real,” or something like that. I understand the feeling! Believe me I do. But I think it’s dangerous.

Question 1: Why do we think our petition has not been heard?

Many people stop praying because they think their petition has not been heard. But my question is, “Why do we think our petition hasn’t been heard?” “Uh, because it didn’t happen, duh!” Yeah, I know. But think: when you thank God for something, do you ever worry if He heard you or not? I’m serious, think: when you thank God, do you worry if He hears your thanks? Do you demand a sign that He heard your “thank you”? No. Ok. But on the other hand, we demand to see the results of our petitions. So again, think: what is your image of God? Is He just a Genie in a bottle, the Divine ATM, Santa? Is God something we can use and manipulate and control? Or is He our Father? You all agreed already that He is your Father, you are his children, that He loves you, that He is all-good. But do we notice how quickly He turns into something else?

The question isn’t, “Does God hear our petitions?”—of course He does! The question (if we’re honest)—the question is, “Is God really all good and all powerful? Is God really a good father?” I’ve had my confidence shaken just as much as any of you. One example happened a few years ago. As a young priest, you get the task of working with the youth a lot. So there was this one kid in particular that I had spent lots of time working with—they had a lot they were dealing with and working through, so it was a great privilege to minister to them. Well, they moved on to college, I moved on to Lyons, hadn’t seen them in a while. Until one day I see an update on Facebook: they’ve left the Catholic Church, joined some other protestant church. And I was disheartened. So much time and attention, and yet the person still leaves the Faith. It really knocked me down. And I petitioned God, “God, please get them back to the Church.” Pretty good petition, right? This is what happened: literally a week later I was in Wichita hanging out with some friends, and we were going to go grab some dinner. And of course, we were going to go to Chik-fil-A—best restaurant in the world! But as dinner drew closer, I lost my appetite for Chik-fil-A—which never happens! And so I went to my second go-to: sushi. But sushi didn’t even sound good! So we ended up going to the first random restaurant that popped into our heads. And while we were sitting there, in walked this person. And we talked, and they told me what was going on. But in that moment, there was a great consolation given to me. It was one of those “God moments.” In that moment, even though this person was still away from the Church, I had a clear sense of God saying, “It’s ok. Trust me. I have this person’s life in my hands. I am a good Father. I am almighty. I love them more than you love them. Trust me. Wait for what I am doing, and trust me.” There in that moment, my petition was answered! But notice: it was not answered as I asked! This person is still away from the Catholic Church. But—but, God gave me a concrete experience to show me that He had indeed heard my petition. And in that moment when I was beginning to lose confidence in God, God as a Father, a good father—in that moment my confidence in the Father was restored.

Why do we think our petition hasn’t been heard? Typically because it wasn’t answered precisely as we would like it to be answered. But perhaps God is the artist, and He is working on a greater masterpiece, and we don’t have access to the full story. I think of Monica and Augustine: Monica prayed for 30 years for her son to become Catholic—30 years! Probably about year 20 she was pretty discouraged. But does that mean God didn’t hear her? No. Augustine went on to become one of the Church’s most important saints! Or think of St. Paul: in the second letter to the Corinthians, Paul talks about a thorn in his side, some concrete temptation he was facing. And he says that on three separate occasions he begged the Lord to take it away from him. But what happened? God didn’t take it away. Rather, Paul heard this, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul’s petition was heard, just not as he prayed.

In the moments when we don’t feel like our petition is heard, it is easy to lose confidence in God. We begin to hear and believe lies like, “Is this even worth my time? Why keep trying? Why even bother? He’s not listening! He’s not a good Father! He doesn’t even care.” And that is the voice of the Enemy trying to get you to give up. Evagrius Ponticus was a monk back in the fourth century, and he shared this piece of wisdom for these moments: “Do not be troubled if you do not immediately receive from God what you ask him; for He desires to do something even greater for you, while you cling to him in prayer.”

Question 2: How is our prayer heard, how is it “efficacious”?

Ok, then the next issue is, “Well then why ask in the first place? God’s going to do whatever he wants anyway. So why ask?” It’s the question of, “Then how exactly are our petitions heard? What does it mean that our petitions are effective? If God doesn’t give us what we ask for, how are our prayer effective?” Well—speaking of St. Augustine—Augustine responded to this in a very famous letter by saying, “The Lord doesn’t always give us immediately what we ask for because He wants to stretch us, He wants to expand our desire, expand our heart—[why?] so as to receive the gift He truly wants to give us.” Very similar to what Evagrius said, yeah?

And just look to your experience, you know this is true! When you were a child, you prayed for a new toy, a later bedtime, to have cake for dinner. When you got a little older, you prayed that that girl would like you, or that you would win the lottery. Later you prayed for a good job. As you get older, you pray for your children, for their health, for their happiness; you pray for a happy death. Your prayer expands, your desire expands. “The Lord doesn’t always give us immediately what we ask for because he wants to stretch us, he wants to expand our desire, expand our heart—so as to receive the gift he truly wants to give us.” And what is the gift He truly wants to give us? Our Destiny: His life, a life of love, a life of complete selflessness, a life of unconditional love. Over and over again, the Lord is helping us to expand our capacity to love. His reckless love toward us, even when we were dead in our sins (Col. 2)—he expands our desire for love.

I think of a father who has to watch his child go through chemotherapy. This Father literally watches a kind of poison being injected into his child, watches his child try to refuse it, watches his child get sicker and sicker because of it, he hears the child beg him to make it stop—but the Father doesn’t stop it. Why? Does he not hear his child? No, he hears him. But he allows it because he is allowing the child to get well again. I think it’s very similar for us. Because of human freedom and how our heart is made, God can’t just snap his fingers. He has to allow our heart to expand. Think of my confidence being shaken: God allowed my heart to change.

Prayer, even if we just go back to the Hebrew word (lehitpalel)—“prayer” is a reflexive verb. In other words, prayer doesn’t change God; prayer is something that changes me. And that’s the official teaching of the Church: “Transformation of the praying heart [of you] is the first response to our petition” (CCC 2739). The first response God gives to our petitions is to work on our heart. Perhaps—think about it—perhaps, we need that thing we wish God would take care of. What if that thing we’ve been begging the Lord to heal is the only thing that keeps us close to the cross of Jesus Christ? What if we couldn’t become half the evangelists we are called to be without the suffering? What if someone else’s faith depends on our greatest disappointment? What if this is the means by which our heart is expanding? It’s not that God wants there to be suffering or pain or any of that—but God has to allow for human freedom, so these things are going to happen. On his part, though, He will love us to our destiny, not matter what. The question is: do we actually believe that? Do we have the faith and trust that God is a good Father and loves me and everyone else to our Destiny? Or do we just believe that God is a Divine ATM?

So How Do I Petition God?

So what do I do? The answer is Luke 18. Jesus tells a parable about the necessity of praying always, petitioning always, without losing heart. Why? Because if you ask enough your wishes will come true? No. Because this is a concrete expression of our trust in the Lord, and the concrete means by which He can work powerfully on our heart. And perhaps, we will even experience the same trust of Jesus Christ before his passion when he prayed, “Father, if it is possible let this chalice pass away from me. But not as I will, but as you will.” Can we pray and actually mean that simple petition in the Our Father: “Thy will be done”? 

The Father is at work—not the Genie, the Father. And He is working on a masterpiece. When we have the confidence that that is true, when we entrust our hearts and lives to this fact, when we pray with the confidence that He is a good Father and hears us and responds, loves us to our Destiny—we will make our petitions day and night without growing weary. The Father hears us, He is at work. And when this gets challenging, pray to Mary and ask her to help you.